Kindness and Adult SEL Matter More Now Than Ever

Are you tired of hearing about "unprecedented times" and "an abundance of caution" too?  I most certainly am, but I'm hopeful for better days ahead.  To say that 2020 has been exceptionally challenging would be an understatement for all of us.  It's been stressful for those in the medical profession, first responders, parents, grocery store employees, those who may have lost their jobs, and school employees too.  Whether you're the admin, custodian, secretary, para, teacher, lunch staff, special education staff, school nurse, or support staff, we all have plates that are overflowing right now.  Everyone has a very important job to do, and everyone's jobs include very time consuming and stressful tasks that we are not even aware of.  Many are also going through significant stressors outside of their work.  One person's plate is definitely not any "less full" than yours or anyone else's!  

Since March, I have seen people pushed well beyond what would be considered to be reasonable limits.  Whether working in-person or remotely (or both simultaneously), each of these scenarios have presented their own set of stressors and have demanded significantly more time and attention from all of us.  This greatly impacts culture and climate in any setting.  

In recent weeks, I've felt it too.  I've been snapped at and even talked about by others.  Those words almost always find their way back to the person being spoken about.  Did these things hurt my feelings and make me feel unappreciated during what was already a very trying time?  Absolutely!    

So, why write about it in a blog post?  I'm not writing to hurt anyone's feelings.  What I'd like to do is share some of the things that I've done since the beginning of this pandemic that have been very helpful to me, in hope that it might help someone else.  These strategies don't make me immune to feeling hurt or unappreciated, but they do help quite a bit.  

So, this brings me to the importance of Adult SEL!  SEL has been a longtime favorite part of school for me.  Back in March, when the world was faced with a whole new caliber of stress, I decided I needed to "do the work" by arming myself with as much professional learning as possible.  We all know the importance of taking charge of your own PD.  Now, more than ever, learning as much as we can about how to take care of ourselves and our students during these stressful and unpredictable times is the best thing we can do to stay afloat.  This way, we can be our best selves for our students, families and colleagues.  Working to improve our own level of understanding, helps to assuage feelings of hurt and can help to prevent us from taking things personally.  

Since March, I have read quite a few books and taken as many PD courses that are available on-demand as I could to help me learn how to navigate these challenging times (I think I'm up to 14).  In all of these PD's, the major point of emphasis was Adult SEL.  It makes complete sense!  How can we be available to serve our students and assist our colleagues if we ourselves are not aware of how our own thoughts influence our feelings, how this in turn impacts our behavior, and how our words and actions impact others?  We can't serve from an empty vessel, and taking time for ourselves and our own learning not only increases understanding of our own thoughts and feelings, but also raises awareness of how others are impacted and where their comments and actions may be originating from.  This kind of learning better enables us to cope with the many new and different challenges that continually arise. 

In my PD sessions I've learned the importance of recognizing feelings in yourself and in others, and taking a moment to pause (referred to as a meta moment) and check in with our own thoughts and feelings before any comment or action.  When we witness a challenging behavior (be it with a child or an adult), it's important to pause and check in on what you're experiencing in that very first moment.  What's being triggered for you?  How are you feeling?  I've learned about how much our thoughts actually drive our feelings.  I've learned about using positive thought strategies to reframe and make better sense of difficult situations.  Reflect on your own thinking and also think about what that child or adult may be going through aside from all of the stressors at school or work.  What trauma(s) have they experienced?  Perhaps that person has had the virus.  Maybe someone in their family has had it.  What if someone they love is going through a major health crisis such as cancer?  What if they or someone they love is very compromised health wise, and they are terrified right now?  Depression, anxiety, and fear have increased dramatically throughout our entire population since last March.  No one is immune.  It impacts all of us.  These feelings can cause even the most positive people to behave differently.  If we think about it, it's much easier to feel or express anger as opposed to sadness and hurt.  Pause and think about this the next time someone says or does something that feels hurtful.  Think about where it might be coming from, and know that it may have nothing to do with you.  Give others the same type of understanding that you hope they would give to you if the situation were reversed.  Everyone needs to be heard, and allowed to feel and acknowledge their emotions.  Some may not be equipped for reciprocal understanding at this time.  Many may not even be aware of the importance and need for Adult SEL (because let's face it, we ALL are in need of this right now).  SEL is a lifelong learning journey.  It is never something that we just master and are perfect with.  There is always room for growth. 

One of my favorite SEL topics for kids has been the work of Carol McCloud and her concept of Bucket Filling.  In my recent work with children in classrooms, we discussed what to do when someone is "dipping" into their bucket.  All of the children have shared that they know that dipping back does not make things better.  Some are still working on applying this knowledge, and that's ok!  Adults need reminders of this from time to time too.  

It costs us nothing to be kind to one another.  Be thoughtful about the words and the tone of voice you're using.  It matters more than you know.  We all need to vent from time to time, but we don't need to talk about others.  Instead, be direct, honest and thoughtful in your choice of words with someone if you have a comment, question or concern.  Know that they are experiencing stressors too.  Share some positivity in your conversation.  There's always something positive that can be pointed out.  Use humor with students and colleagues.  Smile.  They can tell that you're smiling, even with that mask on.  Know that everyone is just as stressed as you are, perhaps even more so.  Remember that they're likely going through something outside of work too.  Know that when someone is being hurtful it is because they too are hurting, and their actions likely have nothing to do with you.  Please take time to let someone know that you appreciate them.  Thank someone.  Let your colleague know that you thought they did a great job, you liked the way they presented, conducted a lesson, spoke with a parent (think of what our school families might be going through at this time too).  It's so easy to do and it will boost your spirits too.  Something so small could make an incredible difference to a colleague or member of your school community. 

I hope that this might inspire others to do some work with Adult SEL.  This work has been helpful with bringing back a little bit of a sense of control to this way of life, and it feels good to know that you're doing something to help yourself and others!  

Wishing everyone a much happier and healthier 2021!  

A #Prodriven Journey in the Making

Like many educators, I've been spending time this summer on my own professional development through reading, participating in book studies, and preparing a PD presentation for when we return to school.
One of the book studies I participated in was through #BookCampPD on Twitter, where the book, "Professionally Driven" by Jarod Bormann was featured.  This book reframed how I look at professional development, and even evaluations (both my own and those I conduct with students).  In the book, Jarod Bormann describes the four steps to his ProDriven PD model, which include:  Research, Integrate, Reflect, and Share.   This model has made me reflect on several of my personal PD endeavors.
A few years ago, I noticed a significant increase in our Spanish-speaking population within our district.  Approximately 25% of our families speak Spanish in their homes.  Each year, we receive new students who have not yet been exposed to the English language.  This touched my heart as I saw kindergarten students beginning their first ever school experiences, surrounded by people who they weren't yet able to communicate with.  I thought back to my own experience in kindergarten.  It was scary at first, even without a language barrier.  I tried to imagine how I might have felt, had I entered my first classroom surrounded by people speaking a language that was new to me.
I began using my limited high school Spanish skills, but it was still so hard for me to communicate effectively.  Inspired by our wonderful ELL aide, affectionately known as "Miss Claudia," I decided to start taking Spanish classes.  This was two years ago.  Miss Claudia encouraged me to put my learning to use, assuring me that it was ok to make mistakes.  Spanish is Miss Claudia's first language.  She told me that it is good for our students to see their teachers trying to use their language.  It shows them that we care to learn their language, that it's ok to make mistakes, and that that we're all lifelong learners.
I consider my Spanish classes part of a long term personal professional development journey.  It is an essential skill that I need in order to be better at what I do and to be able to make connections with more students and families.
Finding the right class and teacher for me, along with my coursework, has been an ongoing research phase of my PD journey.
This year, with the support of our wonderful kindergarten team, I was able to begin to integrate my new skills in the classroom setting.  It was later in the school year, and we had a brand new student come to our school.  She was not speaking English (yet!).  As the school psychologist, I come to our K-1 classrooms weekly during centers for SEL instruction.  I asked one of our amazing kindergarten teachers if she would be willing to change her center groups, so all of her bilingual students were grouped together.  This way, I could conduct the SEL lesson in Spanish with this group, and do the same lesson in English with the other groups.  The teacher excitedly replied, "Yes! Let's do it this coming week!"
The connections and reciprocal learning that took place during that lesson were beyond what I ever could have imagined.  Our new student hugged me after the lesson, and again when I returned to the classroom the following week.  The other children asked me if I could do their lesson in Spanish again.  They loved helping me when I stumbled or forgot a word, I loved learning new words from them, they loved when I told them they were being teachers too.  They beamed when I thanked them for their help, and told them that I hoped I could someday speak two languages as well as they do. They told me they liked speaking Spanish with me.
Shortly after my first Spanish lesson, another kindergarten teacher invited me to do the same with her students too!  Then I used Spanish in my lessons with the first grade students.  I made new types of connections with all of the students, and the children who did not speak Spanish started asking their peers and myself how to say things in Spanish.  As more lessons followed, our new student started using more English during our time together.  It truly was a win all around.
Upon further reflection, this has been such an important lesson and learning experience for me.  I now have better understanding of what a student might be feeling as they acquire a new language.  I think differently when I'm in a meeting with a parent who speaks English as a second or even third language.  I can understand how difficult it can be to learn a new language as an adult, and how long it takes.  I am more thoughtful about the words I'm using in meetings, as I try to explain things in a clear and user-friendly way.
I've discovered that with long term types of PD projects the four steps may not always proceed in an orderly way.  Rather, they may revert back and forth and may even overlap slightly at times.  I am by no means finished with this journey.  I want and need to continue to build my skills.  I need to go back and do more research, and integrate what I learn to fulfill needs that arise.  I will take more time to reflect and determine additional needs and areas of further research.  I will take time to share progress at various stages in this journey, and then do more reflecting, researching, and integration.
I am so thankful that I have such a supportive staff to allow me to take the risk of putting my new language skills to use in their classrooms.  I treasure my time with our amazing students and am so grateful that they have enjoyed learning and helping their new friend learn English while helping me learn more Spanish.  I am also extremely fortunate to have an amazing PLN to share this new learning with.  Thank you for taking time to read about this professional development journey that is so dear to my heart.
I hope you find joy in your professional learning journeys!
Julie 👠

Always More to Learn

Welcome!  Thank you for joining me in my new blogging adventure!  I'd like to begin by thanking my family, friends, and all of the wonderful educators who have inspired me. This includes those I work with in my building, our special education department, and those in my #PLN!  Their support gives me the motivation to continue doing the work that I do!
I've recently been inspired, by some of my friends who blog, to step out of my comfort zone and give blogging a try.  I'd like to give them special thanks as well.
My principal, Diane MacKinnon, has been a huge inspiration for my professional learning.  She's the one who gave me my ruby slippers (Thank you, Diane!) click here to visit her blog!
I'd also like to thank Heather Mastracchio, one of our outstanding kindergarten teachers.  Spending quite a bit of time in her classroom this year, and seeing her new blog have both been boosts of inspiration for me!  Click here to visit Heather's blog!
I also owe a big thank you to my friend, Barbara Gruener, who gave me my very first taste of the joy of blogging.  She has given me the honor of guest posting on her wonderful blog, The Corner on Character.  To visit her blog, click here!
As an elementary school psychologist of 23 years, it never ceases to amaze me how much my work has changed since the day I started.  Over the years, it has shifted from being primarily testing and pull-out services to that of teaching, push-in services, testing, crisis intervention, clerical work, as well as some leadership opportunities.
It amazes me how, no matter how long you've been in this field, there is always so much more to learn.  So many things arise that make me say, "I never learned about this in school psychologist school."  We really never stop learning.  Isn't that the way it should be?
I'm currently reading Kids Deserve It (by Todd Nesloney and Adam Welcome) and Lead Like a Pirate (by Shelley Burgess and Beth Houf), and have been learning so much from these game-changing reads.  I often find myself reflecting on the idea of taking charge of my own professional learning.  It is emphasized in these readings that if we expect our students to be empowered and motivated to take charge of their own learning, then we need to live and model this same philosophy ourselves.
Taking charge of my own professional development has enabled me build even better relationships with my students and to become a better team member.  It has encouraged me to explore my passions and utilize my creativity.  This has not only helped me to create value in the work that I do, but has also brought joy to my work with students.  My students deserve to have awesomeness and fun infused into every lesson!
This year, we've done some professional exploration as a staff as well.  We were given a "Twitter Challenge" by our principal, which encouraged all of us to start tweeting, build our PLN's and share our knowledge with the world.  We were also challenged to have "Worksheet free Wednesdays."  This has encouraged me to explore more hands-on (...and creative! Hooray!) ways of designing my SEL (social emotional learning) lessons.  Not only has this jump-started my motivation and enthusiasm, but it has increased my students' excitement too!  When I arrived to a classroom for a lesson earlier this week, I was greeted with hugs and a room full of excited students who asked, "What are we going to do today...and what are we going to MAKE!?"  Then they added, "You always have fun things for us to do."  I am so excited to be expanding my SEL initiatives this coming week!  I can't wait!
I'd like to wrap up by sharing one of my favorite quotes from Glinda, "You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself."  This quote inspires me to step out of my comfort zone, and believe in myself.  I hope that all of you will feel empowered to step outside of your comfort zone, always keep learning, and know that "you've always had the power" within.

Julie 👠